L-R: Swider with Vanessa Ringel, TDR’s West Coast Regional Director, and Jill James, Chief Operating Officer
Robyn Swider ’10 brings the blind date to another level. The professional New York City-based Matchmaker works for a company called Three Day Rule, which charges $5,000 for a six-month membership and recently partnered with Match.com to provide a more personalized service to it’s users. So how did Swider become the company’s first East Coast hire? Read on to find out.
Q: What is your position title and what are your responsibilities?
A: I’m a Matchmaker! I connect my clients with highly compatible men and women with the goal of helping them to find a relationship.
Q: What is a typical day like as a Matchmaker?
A: They’re all very different. I take about 15-20 meetings each week, generally over coffee at a coffee shop that is convenient for the person I’m meeting. Some days, I’m running all over the city so that I can meet with the best people for my clients.
I use those meetings to get to know the person and what they’re looking for. Sometimes I’ll be meeting with someone who is considering becoming a client, or I’ll with someone who may be a good match for a client.
Another big part of my job is attending events – I go to about three events a week, sometimes with other matchmakers and sometimes with my friends – and I approach people on behalf of my clients. For example, if I’m working with a girl and I see a guy at an event who is her type, I’ll just walk up to him and say, “Hi, I’m Robyn, I’m a matchmaker. I’m working with a woman and you’re just her type, I’d like to get to know you to see if I can introduce you two.” And then if he’s interested I’ll set a coffee meeting with him.
Q: How did you get into the matchmaking business?
A: I was always matching my friends and coworkers but I never thought it could become my career. I was working in sales at a startup in New York when then a friend saw a posting by Three Day Rule on her LinkedIn page. The company was looking for a matchmaker, and my friend sent it to me and said, half kidding, “Look, you really can become a matchmaker!” I thought, “This sounds too good to be true” but I went for it and got in touch with the girls in Los Angeles.
At the time, Three Day Rule was only in Los Angeles and San Francisco and they were hiring their first matchmaker in New York to build a presence here. It was such a natural fit so I got the job and launched the office here! We also launched a partnership with Match.com. Since then we’ve hired two new NYC matchmakers. And this is just since May 2014!
Q: What was it like launching the East Coast office for Three Day Rule?
Quote and image from Swider’s interview with Refinery29.
A: A big component was attending networking events and making a name for Three Day Rule in New York. We already had a presence on the West Coast, but we didn’t have much recognition yet in New York. I would meet with anyone who was interested in meeting with me, and that helped us to gain momentum through word of mouth.
A fun part that came along with being the first one in New York was the media attention. I did an article with Refinery29 and TrendingNY. I also had the opportunity to work with Morgan Spurlock on an episode of his CNN series, Inside Man.
RELATED: Read about Robyn in a Cosmopolitan article about modern matchmaking
Q: Have you had your first client success story since you’ve started working at Three Day Rule?
A: Company wide, we have tons of successes, marriages, and even babies! Here, client success stories will take time to unfold – I’ve had some clients who, even though they’re still clients, have put me on the back burner because they’ve found someone they’re interested in. So although I might still be searching for their match, I press pause on continuing to make introductions for them. I’m hoping some of the matches I’ve made will lead to marriage within a year or so! In the meantime, it’s exciting to see clients learn more about themselves or what they are looking for in a partner. I definitely consider it a success if a client uses the process to become a more confident dater.
Q: What are the most important things you need to know about a client or potential match?
A: There are certain things that are absolutely non-negotiable; like someone’s religion, or whether or not they want to have children, or if they plan to stay in New York City forever. We would never ask someone to waver on those things. And then there are other things that a client might prefer to find in a match, but that aren’t totally necessary. You have to be able to differentiate the deal breakers from the preferences.
Q: Do you learn how to discern those things in your training, or is it intuitive?
A: There are parts of being a matchmaker that are definitely intuitive; you need to be someone who is approachable and who people feel comfortable opening up to. However, I did have extensive training before getting started – it was helpful to learn from more experienced matchmakers in LA – they know all the right questions to ask and what to listen for.
Q: What’s your favorite part of your job so far?
A: Making a match is always so satisfying. I love when, after a client’s first date, I hear each person’s side of the story and find that it’s a mutual match and they’re both excited to see each other again. There’s really no better feeling. I love being kept in the loop about their relationship as it progresses.
Q: How did the College help you prepare for this job?
A: I was a communication major and a business administration minor, and my classes helped a lot. My first job after college was in advertising sales, so I was able to build upon what I learned from those classes in that job, and then develop that experience into a versatile skillset. You have to be a strong verbal communicator and an outgoing person to succeed in sales, and those qualities definitely helped me prepare for this job.
RELATED: Check out the College’s programs in communication and business administration
Q: What advice would you offer to current students interested in a position like yours?
A: I would say if you want something you have to ask for it. On my resume there was nothing that made me seem especially qualified to become a matchmaker, I was working in ad sales before this so there was nothing that screamed “future matchmaker,” but I had no reason to think I wouldn’t qualify. You just have to reach out, get in touch with people, follow up with them and don’t be afraid to be your biggest advocate.
Q: Anything you’d like to add?
A: We are always hiring! And not just in New York. If you’re interested in working for Three Day Rule, look on our website for more information.
