10 Do’s and Don’ts for Finding and Keeping Your Roommate

The May 1 deadline to sign up for on-campus housing is approaching fast. From then on, it’s all about roommates.

Each year, hundreds of high school seniors take to the College ‘class of’ Facebook page to scope out potential roommates, debating the merits of random assignments versus social media match-ups or pairing with a friend from home.

If you’re preparing to find a roommate, this advice from the residence life and housing staff on finding – and keeping – the perfect roommate will help…

Do: Check out the random assignment questionnaire and the Facebook page

Fact: Randomly assigned roommates tend to wrap up freshman year more smoothly than other pairings; Facebook matches can also work out well.

Don’t: Room with a friend from home

Both randomly assigned and Facebook roommates fare better than the friends from home. If you’re coming to the College with a friend from home, your best shot at staying friends is to not live together.

Do: Set boundaries early

Within six weeks of move-in, you and your roommate will be required to sign a contract that lays out the basic rules of your residence hall – for instance, what times and how often can visitors come over? What items can be shared and what items are yours alone?

While the contract can be a good way to enforce those rules down the line, it’s best to discuss specifics with your roommate face-to-face. For instance, if you’re a light sleeper ask that your roommate not snooze his or her alarm more than once on days you get to sleep later, and respect the invisible line dividing your side of the room from his or hers – e.g., no dirty laundry spillover allowed.

EXPLORE: Check out the Residence Life and Housing campus housing site.

Don’t: Let implied expectations guide your living situation

You and your roommate probably grew up in very different households – maybe one of you has shared a room before or maybe not. Regardless, boundaries you may think are obvious – for instance, your deodorant is off limits – could be completely mysterious to your roommate. So don’t rely on unspoken rules to maintain a mutually beneficial roommate arrangement.

Do: Communicate

Talking out any issues you have with your roommate will be far more effective than snap-chatting a photo of his or her mess leaking over to your side or the room, venting to friends about the problem, or requesting action by your resident assistant (RA) before trying to work things out with your roommate.

Dealing with issues before they get out of control means you can bring up your preferences gently. Waiting until the problem has been exacerbated over the course of a semester will make coming to a resolution significantly more challenging.

Don’t: Forget about your resources

If you do need advice on anything relating to housing, an RA will be on-call 24/7 to help. The College residence halls also employ a desk assistant, and the Office of Residence Life and Housing has a capable staff ready to help with any bumps in the road.

Do: Be realistic about your expectations

Many freshmen are disappointed when they realize their roommate isn’t their new best friend forever, but in fact the healthiest roommate relationships happen when each roommate has his or her own distinct group of friends. Time apart from one another is essential when you live in close quarters.

Don’t: Judge your roommate before you meet in person

Whether you find each other on Facebook or you’re randomly assigned, you’ll likely reach out to your roommate before move-in day to start getting to know one another. But do you really want to lose the element of surprise? Just kidding.

The Office of Residence Life and Housing recommends using social media for basic questions like who’s bringing the coffee maker, TV, etc., but not delving much deeper because many subtleties of an interaction are lost through those channels. Focus on the personal stuff after move-in.

Do: Be honest about your general preferences

Whether you pair up through a random assignment or social media, be honest about your sleeping, cleaning and social habits. Despite the urge to, er, “exaggerate your cleaning tendencies” to land a neat freak roommate, little overstatements like that could end up harming your relationship and causing resentment to build. Not worth it, even when your floors are sparkling and your room smells like fresh citrus.

Don’t: Procrastinate

Accepted students can begin signing up now, so those precious slots in your dream residence hall are getting filled up every day. The College guarantees on-campus housing to all incoming freshmen who complete the housing application by May 1, but if you have your eye on a particular residence hall, sign up as soon as possible before you miss you chance.